here’s the scoop

for everyone that’s been wondering what’s goin on with me, here’s the scoop. pain and swelling in fingers and toes, positive test on blood work for hla-b27. white blood cells get confused and attack all tissues not just bad ones. off and on pain last 2 months. saturday night excruciating pain. couldn’t stand anything to touch my toes or fingers. swollen and stiff. more pain than i’ve ever felt. i’ve torn my rotator cuff, acl and mcl. had surgery on shoulder and knee and never felt anything like this.  i hate going to the doctor, much less the emergency room, but i couldn’t stand it any longer.

that’s the short version. here’s the cool part. amy and i prayed that God would touch me and He didn’t. we wondered why but knew He had a plan so we just accepted it and moved on. without going into any details, God used this situation to connect me with some people i otherwise wouldn’t have got to speak with.

so today i rejoice in my infirmities! 2 corinthians 12:9b “most gladly therefore will i rejoice in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”   as bad as saturday night was, i’d do it all again to see how God opens doors.  way to go God!

any ideas?

i usually write about what’s on my mind at any given moment.  but i would like to try something different for a few days.  i want to try and write about subjects you request.  i realize this could be dangerous, but it could also be fun.  so, leave a comment with a suggestion for a blog and i’ll write something.  can’t promise it will be of any great importance to the world but who knows.

a new philosophy

It doesn’t matter how organized I am or how anointed I am, if I don’t love them, all they hear is noise. If I can’t love them, I can’t lead them. I’ve got to be patient and kind. I can’t get easily riled up and I can’t think bad about them. (because that thought allows the devil a foothold) I shouldn’t get excited when they mess up, but I should when they get it right. I must “believe the best” about ALL of them. Never stop loving them.  The material things I want them to do will pass away, but our relationship shouldn’t. I’ve got to stop acting like a spoiled brat (that wants everything my way) and act like the Godly man I’m becoming.

this is what God told me after reading 1 corinthians 13 this morning during my quiet time.  what’d He tell you?

just 3 words.

feeling a stirring.   something is coming.  trying to prepare.  searching the word.  listening for direction.  writing my thoughts.  praying with passion.  looking for more.

this is me.

what about you?

ain’t skeered

today’s blog is a re-post.  i originally wrote this blog on June 9th of 2008.  a little over a year ago.   -

 

i’m a champion, i’m a champion, i’m a champion.  if i look at things through earthly eyes, the last thing i am is a champion.  but that’s what holds me back from being what i was made to be.  earthly eyes.  if i can find that place where i can see myself through the eyes of God, then i can realize my calling to be a champion.  the first thing i must deal with is fear.  i’m afraid of failure.  i used to be a professional failure.  (i had to change that sentence to the past tense from the present tense).  for so long i’ve been used to giving up before i make it to my goal that it’s become a habit.  i’ve listened to the enemy lie to me and tell me it can’t be done and that if i try and fail that everyone will know how weak i really am.  so i’ve been afraid.  after all, people look to me for guidance, i can’t let them down.  so i don’t try.  fear.  the first battle i’ve got to win is with fear.  before i can take on the champ, i’ve got to fight my way up the ranks.  so here goes…

2 tim.1:7 for God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.  fear isn’t from God, therefore, i’ve got to get rid of it.  i’m not the first one to face a giant.  1 sam 17:32 And David said to Saul, Let no man’s heart fail because of him; thy servant will go and fight with this Philistine.  37 David said moreover, The LORD that delivered me out of the paw of the lion, and out of the paw of the bear, he will deliver me out of the hand of this Philistine.  And Saul said unto David, Go, and the LORD be with thee.  45 Then said David to the Philistine, Thou comest to me with a sword, and with a spear, and with a shield: but I come to thee in the name of the LORD of hosts, the God of the armies of Israel, whom thou hast defied.  46 This day will the LORD deliver thee into mine hand; and I will smite thee, and take thine head from thee; and I will give the carcases of the host of the Philistines this day unto the fowls of the air, and to the wild beasts of the earth; that all the earth may know that there is a God in Israel.  47 And all this assembly shall know that the LORD saveth not with sword and spear: for the battle is the LORD’S, and he will give you into our hands.

david had no fear because he knew it wasn’t his battle.  this isn’t my battle it’s God’s.  all i have to do to be the champion in the battle with fear is face it head on and do what i know to do.  david knew how to work a sling not swords and armour.  he did what he knew to do and God used it to slay his giant.  i know what to do and i’m stepping into the ring to face this giant.  he won’t win and i’m going to feed HIS carcass to the fowl of the air.  it’s on now, cause i’m starting to believe.  DING DING!   - 

 

looking back over the past year, i see that i’ve knocked the giant down a few times but he keeps getting up because i haven’t cut off his head.  i’ve fought valiantly just not thoroughly.  i’ve found new freedom this year by facing my fear. but the time has come to finish the fight.  he’s hit me back and now it’s put up or shut up.  bad news for him, this is the last time he’ll get up.  it really is on now.

so what about you?  what giant are you facing?

that thing you do. . . .

i have this title on my home page which asks “who am i”.  on my description i have a line that says, “beyond these three i am still a man searching for who i am”.  i’ve been having this slow revelation, if it’s even possible to have a revelation slowly, about who i am and what my purpose is.  now i have heard all my life what my purpose is, in fact i wrote a reflection in the M.I.P. (ministerial internship program) titled My Porpoise.  (yeah it says porpoise).  but just this week it seems to be sinking in. 

my job, my old truck, my motorcycle, watching football, being married to the greatest wife on earth, raising 2 precious children, all these things are not my purpose. they are tools to help me succeed in fulfilling my purpose.   my purpose is to KNOW God and to help others KNOW God.

i work as an executive pastor.  i start the connection process for all attendees to our church. that is being purposeful on my job.  i drive an old truck.  because of this,  i’ve needed parts or have given parts away.  an open door to connect with people outside of my usual circle.  i like to go to small car shows from time to time.  the truck is not show quality but these times are opportunities to meet people and develop a relationship with them that may lead them to Christ.  the motorcycle has been a way to connect on an intimate level with a few friends and fellow servants of the Lord.  we encourage one another and take time to relax and re-focus on our purpose.  football, ok, this still needs work.  but my love of football has helped me to connect with people on a different level than  i could have connected with them otherwise.  it’s also helped build friendships, that i prize, with some of the elders i work with.  my wife, wow! she is my rock. she helps me make right decisions and keeps me moving down the right path, even when i don’t want to.  i couldn’t fulfill my purpose without her.  my kids, are my personal disciples.  they are there to train and to train me. 

the point is this, whether or not i get to see the ballgame,  whether or not i have the prettiest truck, whether or not i embarrass  my friends with how poorly i ride a motorcycle, is not important.  whether or not i use that time to bring myself and those around me closer to God is important.  it’s not the things we do but the things we do with the things we do that counts.  that about sums it up.  you think?

Uneasy Rider

 

 

well, bike week comes to an end tomorrow and it seems as though things were fairly quiet.  the rain kept it from being as crowded as usual on the roads.  there weren’t as many accidents as usual so i guess you could say it was a pretty safe weekend for bikers.  of course we all know i’m not a biker. 

i got my first case of road rash this week.  i could tell you the story of a mack truck pulling out in front of me and how i had to swerve into oncoming traffic and jump a ditch and land on the roof of a station wagon full of mennonites, but that would be a lie.  the truth is, i was pulling into my driveway and hit a patch of gravel.  as my front wheel turned i grabbed the front brake (i know, iknow that was stupid. but i told you i’m not a biker.).  as the bike began to lean i put my foot down and caught the bike.  the problem was that my foot was on the bank of the ditch and as it began to slip i gently laid the bike down and rolled into the ditch, hitting my elbow and arm on a concrete block lining the driveway tile.  i jumped up with a speed that the Flash would have envied.  i sat the bike up, then scanned the neighborhood to see if anyone was watching.  luckily noone was home.  or if they were they had fallen to the floor laughing so i didn’t see them.  anyway, the bike wasn’t hurt and except for my elbow and my pride, i was fine.

i’m hoping that this experience has bumped me up to at least a 2 on the 1 to 10 biker scale.  maybe one day i’ll grow up to be a real biker.  just keep me off the driveways.

smeeling mainly. . . .

usually endorsements are saved for those that are famous.  after all, my opinions won’t sell any products, but i thought i’d let you know what i like.  not that you really care but maybe one day i’ll get a deal to do commercials or something.  yea right.

i like gillette cool wave after shave splash.  to me, it smells manly (or smeels mainly, as rocky would say).  now nothing against those of you who wear high priced colognes, but some of them smell very “pretty” . i’m just not really into smelling “pretty”.  now i know i may get some flack for this, but i love me some apricot bodywash with sand in it (or whatever that gritty stuff is).  just so you know, its ok to use pretty smelling bodywash as long as you cover it up with manly smelling after shave.  i like secret deodorant.  you know, the one strong enough for a man but made for a woman.  well, it definately does the job.  speedstick can’t even begin to compare.  i know it’s smell is borderline feminine, but powder fresh will work as long as you are wearing manly aftershave.

i’m starting to get this really funny feeling that i’m not as manly as i thought i was. . .

. . . ok i’m back now.  i’m feeling better.  just had to go put on some after shave.

i’m lovin’ it. . . . well some of it

 

so i like an occasional filet o fish sandwich from mcdonalds.  but i have just one question.  why is it that a 3 inch square piece of fish can only have a 1 inch by 3 inch piece of cheese?  i don’t understand why i can only enjoy 1/3 of my fish sandwich with cheese.  the rest is just fish and bread.  not the way i love it.  oh well just wondering.

oh my deer. . . .

 

every now and then i get to see parts of the today show.  several weeks back matt lauer had a bicycle accident with a deer and injured his shoulder.  he was back on the show a couple days later with his arm in a sling.  i got to see the show  again this week and he is still wearing the sling.

matt, suck it up dude.  act like a man, lose the sling and move on.  you’re acting like a wuss.

i can say this because i had surgery on my shoulder a few years ago on a wednesday.  they repaired a torn rotator cuff and tightened the capsule around the joint because it had been stretched from several dislocations.  on the saturday after the surgery i was out shooting skeet. 

it was bad enough that a deer ran you down, please don’t make yourself look more wimpy by milking the injury any longer.