new name

from henceforth this blog will no longer be titled “musings”.  and here’s the reason why.  you may think i’m being silly or even ridiculously conservative.  that’s your right, but i choose not to live a life of compromise.  no, i’m not perfect, but when i realize flaws or mistakes i do try to correct them.  i refuse to knowingly associate myself or my family with evil.  it’s just too high of a price.  i’ve seen what becomes of lives full of compromise.  demons do exist and they do possess people.  i don’t mess with vampires and i don’t read harry potter.  no sense walking on the edge of a cliff, i’ll stay as far from it as possible thank you.  if you’re offended, build a bridge.  the truth hurts.

but i would like to know where you stand.

gggrrrrrrrrrr . . . .

GGRRRRRRGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
excuse me, that was my stomach growling. so, i started a new way of eating today, in hopes that i will lose some weight and also break this addiction i have to feeling full. i’ve come to realize that i’m not always hungry and i don’t have an unhealthy attraction to food. what i do have is a love of the feeling of being full. you know, that fat dumb and happy feeling. the one where everything’s good because my belly says so. i’ve discovered that i will eat anything i can get my hands on to keep my tank full. if i were a car, i would stop every 5 miles and yell filler up to the service man. anyway, i’ve come out of denial and decided to do something about it. yes, i have dieted in the past and on a couple of occasions lost great amounts of weight. but i always did some fad that wasn’t helping me deal with the real issue. the core problem isn’t that i’m overweight, it’s that being full thing. so rather than do an atkins type diet where i can eat half a cow and lose weight (hey don’t laugh, it works), i am now watching calories and eating small, tiny, minute, infinitesimal, microscopic (okay you get my point) portions.
i’ve eaten every 2 hours today. 7am- 1 cup of cheerios with 1/2 cup of 1% milk- 155 calories, 10am- 4 baby dill pickles- 20 calories, 12pm- 6 slices of ham and 5 baby dills- 115 calories, 3pm- a peach- 62 calories. the plan is grilled chicken and green beans tonight. woo hoo! i know my metabolism is amped up, which is good, but i’m hungry. for real. oh well that’s my struggle for today. pray for me. i need it.
ps. starting weight – 399.4
pps. pray for my wife and family – hungry does not = happy lol, not.

smeeling mainly. . . .

usually endorsements are saved for those that are famous.  after all, my opinions won’t sell any products, but i thought i’d let you know what i like.  not that you really care but maybe one day i’ll get a deal to do commercials or something.  yea right.

i like gillette cool wave after shave splash.  to me, it smells manly (or smeels mainly, as rocky would say).  now nothing against those of you who wear high priced colognes, but some of them smell very “pretty” . i’m just not really into smelling “pretty”.  now i know i may get some flack for this, but i love me some apricot bodywash with sand in it (or whatever that gritty stuff is).  just so you know, its ok to use pretty smelling bodywash as long as you cover it up with manly smelling after shave.  i like secret deodorant.  you know, the one strong enough for a man but made for a woman.  well, it definately does the job.  speedstick can’t even begin to compare.  i know it’s smell is borderline feminine, but powder fresh will work as long as you are wearing manly aftershave.

i’m starting to get this really funny feeling that i’m not as manly as i thought i was. . .

. . . ok i’m back now.  i’m feeling better.  just had to go put on some after shave.

guess where i’m going?

 

i’m going to disney world!!

dear cracker barrel,

dear cracker barrel,

i don’t understand what is happening between us.  it seems as though you don’t love me anymore.  i remember the days when we would sit and laugh around your tables while enjoying great heaping mounds of biscuits.  oh the thought of your slightly golden, fluffy clouds of flourery goodness nearly makes me swoon.  but you’ve changed.  where you used to give yourself to me wholeheartedly without reservation, you now hold back.  i find myself begging for the opportunity to hold your warm butteryness in my hands.  the fact that others are hearing me plead with you causes me embarrassment.  i don’t know what i did to make you take away the liberties i used to enjoy with you.  i guess i stopped meeting your needs somehow.  but i’m changing.  i’ve recently attended a dynamic class and learned that your needs are important.  so please let’s have conversation and be open and honest.  please share with me what those needs are.  i NEED your biscuits!  and i’ll do whatever i have to, to get them. 

with fondest apple butter slathered regards,  allen

she is . . . .

 

she is EVERYTHING i’ve ever desired or needed.  she loves me without reservation.  she forgives and forgets.  she encourages me when i’m weak.  she pushes me to greater heights physically, emotionally and most importantly spiritually.  she is my rock when i need support.  she stands with me when everyone else would leave.  she gives herself completely to me without holding back.  she is my dream girl.  she gives me the affection i desire.  she gives me the intimacy i need.  she is my precious gift from God.  she is all i live for.  she is MINE!

Thank you sir, may i have another. . . .

 

i got a cortisone injection a little over 2 weeks ago.  WOW!!  i couldn’t believe the difference in my knee and in the way this doctor treated me.  he had a genuine concern for my plight and actually wanted to help me.  thank God for Doctor Yates.  he said the x-rays were some of the worst he had seen.  so the first week i had no pain.  that is the first time in about 12 years.  after about the 10th day it started getting uncomfortable.  as of now it is starting to pop again but it is bearable.  i’ve made another appointment for the 2nd of April.  we leave for Disney World on the 4th so i’m hoping he will give me a “booster” shot to allow me to enjoy the vacation. 

anyway, if you’re wondering if cortisone will help?  it helped me.  and i’ll take all they will give me.